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What turns men off

What Turns Men Off

Did you know that the biggest turn off in a relationship for most people is emotional instability? Unfortunately, if this sounds like you then you already know that you are the problem. But what other factors could send a man running for the hills?

Have no fear, as I am here to help. Read on for the must know factors regarding what turns men off.


It would be hard to find a man who does not have trust at the top of his priority list. It is the most important element of any strong relationship. And I don’t just mean being honest when it comes to the big, relationship defining moments either.

When you tell lots of white lies, even with the best of intent, it becomes hard for a man to figure out where you are coming from. It also shows that you are not strong enough in your own personality to face up to consequences and speak the truth. This does not bode well for a relationship.

This can mean the guy does not know your true intention, your needs and your desires. This makes them feel pretty redundant in a relationship, and they will go elsewhere.

This can also work when you are emotionally dishonest with a man. If you refuse to tell them what you are thinking, feeling, or worse, you lie about it, he can’t form a connection with you. While guys don’t want needy partners, they also don’t want one that relies on them to fill the emotional void without being given help.


You know all of those hot Instagram stars that guys scroll through on their phone? The truth is that while guys do like to look, many of them would never entertain the thought of being in a relationship with one of them. Because men hate narcissistic girls.

Everyone has a dose of insecurity. But people who need to post about themselves online constantly are showing they have a bigger issue than others. It is attention seeking behavior, which is an instant turn off to guys.

Relationships are about give and take. Anyone who is bragging, boasting and concentrating on their own needs is not giving. The relationship all becomes take and any stable guy would want out.

Contrary to popular belief, guys also want you as you are. They don’t need fake boobs or inflated lips, and they don’t want to see you in a full face of make up at all hours of the day. They want to wake up and see natural beauty.

Being Overly Needy

Being needed is a fine balance. Even in a modern relationship, the guy has to feel like he serves a purpose. In some way, he wants to be a hero, providing you with emotional support and helping you out.

However, if he ends up providing too much support, the whole thing can become a huge strain. This is when you become too needy. You may be putting too many of your worries and emotional problems on him, making you seem desperate.

The same can be said when you try too hard to please a guy. If everything he asks is done by you, then the relationship has no give or take. It has no excitement and will be a huge red flag to him.

You need to get the balance right. Don’t be offended if he does not text back immediately or wants to have time to himself. If your only enjoyment in the day is only hearing from this person, then you need to make other arrangements in your life and the neediness should vanish.


Men don’t want aggression in a relationship, projected either at them, someone else, or even yourself. Many people may put this down to man being the typical hunter gatherer in a traditional relationship. He should be out being the aggressive one.

However, the answer is a lot simpler than this. Men just don’t want the trouble.

Why would they? The point of a relationship is to have fun and enjoy quality time with someone. Aggression is the exact opposite of that.

By aggression, I don’t mean starting bar fights and getting road rage. Very often, the biggest turnoffs are micro aggressions. These are small, off the cuff negative comments towards them and other people.

If you find you are aggressive, then it is a deeper problem within yourself. Speak to someone about fixing it before even attempting a relationship.

Rushing to the End Goal

Finally, you cannot be too focused on the end goal. This is when you are in it for the sake of being in a relationship, seeking the marriage and children at the expense of everything else.

That does not mean things have to move slowly. The opening part of a relationship is about getting to know each other, enjoying each other’s company and making the decision to progress. This could happen quickly, or it may take time.

If you force this, the guy will know it. You may end up trying to move the relationship on when he feels he hardly knows you. This will be a huge warning sign to him.

In addition, speeding up the process takes the fun out of it for him. You miss that whole courtship period. It’s like learning to run before you can walk.

This also gives the guy the feeling that he could be anyone. If a girl is so eager to please and push the relationship on, then the guy could be replaceable. If you don’t know each other with a deep emotional connection, then he becomes an object.

If you feel like this may be you, then take a step back. Try to enjoy the opening phases of the relationship, getting to know people better. If it does not work out, at least you had a good time.


When having trouble staying in relationships, do a short self-assessment. If you are honest, you will know which of these apply to you. Identify them and see what you can do to eliminate this behaviour.